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Thursday, November 04, 2004
 
To my Bush-voting acquaintances
I got an email from a retired pilot friend who just doesn't get it:
Concession time.
Sound familiar?
And the beat goes on.
Bob xxxx
We may not be friends any longer as a result of my response:

Concessions.

Yes, it's all sounding very familiar.

We've already done one round of concessions. When cabotage comes in, we'll do another round. When the GOP administration and GOP congress give the green light for companies to terminate their DB plans without consequences, we'll do yet another round--and lose our pension, too.

But don't worry; since you voted for him, Bush will be sure your pension is OK. Because he's just a regular guy who cares about people like you.

I mean, would you have voted for him if he was going to trash what you've worked for all these years? Would you have voted for him if he was incompetent and had led the country into a bloody, unnecessary quagmire in the Middle East?

Of course not.

We won't have to worry about strikes any more. And we'll be able to make up a small fraction of our lost income and benefits by working until 65--if we can pass all the additional cognitive tests on our physicals.

We'll have distractions and entertainment: The daily death toll of our troops and Iraqi civilians will become non-news; like an additional weather report that will continue for years. The semi-annual requests for another $70 billion will become routine.

Ashcroft and Powell will resign in order to spend more time with their families. Rehnquist will expire and O'Conner will retire. Gonzalez and Hatch will be nominated to the bench, opening the way for suspension of the Bill of Rights--only if you're a terrorist, of course (trust us, we know what we're doing).

Oh-and a big increase in "sterile" coat hanger sales.

The next terrorist attack on US soil will occur sometime over the next several years; but it won't be the Bush administration's fault--nothing ever is. It will probably be Clinton's fault.

Or maybe Gore's.

Or Kerry's.

Limbaugh, Hannity and Coulter will be sure to tell us who to blame.

As the Middle East becomes more unstable, oil prices will continue to rise and the economy will try to tank--but we'll find employment for lots of young people as we prepare for war against Iran.

Or Syria. The administration will determine that it will only cost $14 billion and the Iranians/Syrians will pay us back out of gratitude; maybe with flowers and candy, or a grand square named after Bush.

So of course, it will be time for another upper-bracket tax cut.

North Korea will continue to build nukes, and we will continue to ignore them. As long as they don't actually launch at us, we'll never need confront the fact that our $180 billion missile defense system doesn't actually work.

In the presidential campaign of 2008, the candidate running against Jeb Bush will be the "most liberal elitist" ever to run for the office. He/she will no doubt also be discovered to be a traitor and a weakling.

And maybe a Socialist.

Or French.

The press will breathlessly debate the virtue of the charges, as the Federal Debt passes $10 trillion and the US death toll in Iraq/Iran/Syria passes some thousand-milestone.

Actual issues facing the country will be ignored as these important things are endlessly rehashed by the shamelessly liberal media, and the shamelessly liberal giant corporations that own them.

George Bush will hold his 15th and last press conference of his 8 year term. After answering the scripted questions, he will announce that good times are just around the corner.

Unless of course, the democratic candidate is elected, in which case the country will be immediately attacked by the terrorists that Bush has kept at bay for all this time.

Except for the attacks which were the fault of his opponent.

Or Clinton.

Or which would have been much worse under Gore.

Or Kerry.

Enjoy the next four years--and the consequences for much longer--of the Government that you deserve.

 
Shouting into the closet to inform and entertain the 10 people who actually read this thing. In our new format as an online magazine, we take pride in our reporting and opinions. Please leave reader feedback on our online magazine message board so that we can better serve you.

“There’s a lot of money to pay for this that doesn’t have to be U.S. taxpayer money, and it starts with the assets of the Iraqi people…and on a rough recollection, the oil revenues of that country could bring between $50 and $100 billion over the course of the next two or three years…We’re dealing with a country that can really finance its own reconstruction, and relatively soon.” -Paul Wolfowitz

Cost of the War in Iraq
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