ROACHBLOG

An Online Magazine

Wednesday, March 30, 2005
 
Real news.
Every now and then, real information makes its way through the bread-and-circuses kabuki window that so many Americans view the world through. For example, on the CNN homepage this morning we observe the obligatory, breathless reporting of the Schindlers’ ten-thousandth legal appeal, which the 11th Circuit has agreed to hear. Later today or tomorrow, CNN will be dominated by accounts of whatever stupid-ass fantasy their lawyer has cooked up this time. Either that, or by reports of Terri’s passing, which can’t be far off.

But on the sidebar of the page is an actual news item. It's only there for an hour or so before it disappears. It's in an unassuming font, tastefully placed in the middle of the bullet list of “secondary’ news stories:

Report: Darfur death toll may be 300,000

Just above this, we are informed that Jerry Falwell is in critical condition. He has pneumonia, but is expected to recover. Thank you, Jesus. Below, we note that Mary Cheney, well known and openly gay but nevertheless somehow heartlessly outed by John Kerry, has inked a contract for her memoirs. Also, we see that Joan Kennedy has fallen and she can’t get up. By the way, did you know she was a boozer? Those stories are still there, so you can click on them yourself. Let’s return to that other, briefly appearing and now disappeared bullet, shall we?

Report: Darfur death toll may be 300,000

If you recall, we invaded Iraq in order to liberate their oppressed people. If you think there may have been other reasons, well, you’re just remembering it wrong. There was never any other reason. 300,000 is a big number. We assisted, and then mounted a feeble coffee boycott against, Idi Amin, who killed the same number. We later arranged for his retirement in Saudi Arabia.

We assisted, then removed, Saddam Hussein, who killed the same number. We will soon supervise his trial and inevitable execution. We created, and then started two wars because of, Osama bin Laden, who has killed considerably fewer. Unfortunately, he’s probably not done yet(I wonder whose fault that is?). To be fair though, the television coverage of his most notable killings was much better, so they count more.

Report: Darfur death toll may be 300,000

So what should the US reaction to this be? Invasion? Sanctions? Boycott? Trial and Conviction of the guilty? No. You know the answer. You can go back to watching TV, now.
 
Shouting into the closet to inform and entertain the 10 people who actually read this thing. In our new format as an online magazine, we take pride in our reporting and opinions. Please leave reader feedback on our online magazine message board so that we can better serve you.

“There’s a lot of money to pay for this that doesn’t have to be U.S. taxpayer money, and it starts with the assets of the Iraqi people…and on a rough recollection, the oil revenues of that country could bring between $50 and $100 billion over the course of the next two or three years…We’re dealing with a country that can really finance its own reconstruction, and relatively soon.” -Paul Wolfowitz

Cost of the War in Iraq
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