ROACHBLOG

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Friday, June 03, 2005
 
Friday night news dump.

So, it turns out that Newsweek got their facts wrong after all. The Pentagon can't verify that a Q'uran was ever flushed down the toilet at Gitmo. The horrible left-wing media has been caught again.

The new update shows that only good things have happened to the Muslim holy book in our special, all-American place in Cuba. Wholesome things, like getting a good washing after a guard's manly urine stream accidently splashed on it, and its reader, too. Or having good, Christian instructions written inside the cover.

The guilty, guilty, guilty levantine terror monkeys that we have generously incarcerated without charge or trial for the last three years, have been much less respectful of their holy scripture. Some of them have used it for a pillow, instead of using the nice American pillows that the maid service provides. Some of them have torn pages from it, urinated on it, and even flushed it down the toilet themselves!!

I have it on good authority that Halliburton has complied scrupulously with their $840 million contract to provide USDA grade A toilet paper to these savages, so their use of the holy Q'uran to cleanse themselves is obviously just a ploy to make us look bad. At considerable taxpayer expense, no less.
 
Shouting into the closet to inform and entertain the 10 people who actually read this thing. In our new format as an online magazine, we take pride in our reporting and opinions. Please leave reader feedback on our online magazine message board so that we can better serve you.

“There’s a lot of money to pay for this that doesn’t have to be U.S. taxpayer money, and it starts with the assets of the Iraqi people…and on a rough recollection, the oil revenues of that country could bring between $50 and $100 billion over the course of the next two or three years…We’re dealing with a country that can really finance its own reconstruction, and relatively soon.” -Paul Wolfowitz

Cost of the War in Iraq
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