ROACHBLOG

An Online Magazine

Sunday, June 12, 2005
 
Sunday news roundup
The news networks are really scrambling to keep up with all of the fast breaking stories of international importance today:

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That pretty white girl?
In Aruba?
She's still missing.



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We have a different picture of the pretty missing white girl.
Our reporters have worked all week to find it.
We are very proud.


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The other networks are showing their poor news judgment by running pictures of the pretty missing white girl.
We will scoop them by showing this picture of a telephone pole with yellow ribbons and flowers on it.
Doesn't it just choke you up?


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What the hell is this? Prisoners in Gitmo? The President lying?
What is wrong with you people at MSNBC? Don't you know there's a pretty white girl missing?


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This cheesy looking white guy beat up on this dissipated black guy.
This is important because black people tend to scare us, so it's always nice to see one get beat up by an Irish nobody.

Oh, and that pretty white girl is missing. We still think that black guy we showed last week did it.
 
Shouting into the closet to inform and entertain the 10 people who actually read this thing. In our new format as an online magazine, we take pride in our reporting and opinions. Please leave reader feedback on our online magazine message board so that we can better serve you.

“There’s a lot of money to pay for this that doesn’t have to be U.S. taxpayer money, and it starts with the assets of the Iraqi people…and on a rough recollection, the oil revenues of that country could bring between $50 and $100 billion over the course of the next two or three years…We’re dealing with a country that can really finance its own reconstruction, and relatively soon.” -Paul Wolfowitz

Cost of the War in Iraq
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